I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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