worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
