I think I am morally bankrupt
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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