Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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