I'm drive I can fine osifer
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
