I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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