i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
