Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Drake has all the answers
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
