You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
