He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
