I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
