Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
