So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
