Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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