So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
