he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
