direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Randomize
