I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
