Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
