Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I had to cum in my sink.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
