My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
