dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
