therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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