Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
