No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
