So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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