THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
