Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
