I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
