i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
