she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
