ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
