I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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