i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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