no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
