bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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