Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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