Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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