Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
