If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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