:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
