My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
