ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
