I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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