dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
