Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I think people are normalizing furries
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
