Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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