shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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