you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
