So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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