your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Sorry about my life...
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
